On Relationships

Or, how you can make yours better by choosing to be RAD

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” — Proverbs 25:24 (NIV)

Setting aside the obvious gender bias in this passage, I believe the writer of Proverbs is speaking to a fundamental truth:

It’s better to endure the harsh elements — the blazing sun or the bitter cold — than to live in comfort beside a constantly quarreling partner.

There’s a common saying among the military’s infantry:

“Mind your 25s, your 5s, and your 0s.”

It’s a reminder to stay aware of the immediate risks in your surroundings.

The same holds true for relationships.

The people we allow into our “zero bubble,” our closest inner circle, shape the quality and direction of our lives more than we often realize.

Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, said it well:

“Associate with people who are likely to improve us.”

So the question we need to ask — both of ourselves and of our partners — is simple:

Does this person help improve the quality of my life?

If the answer is yes — stop reading and go spend time with them. Take a walk, share a coffee, soak up the outdoors together.

But if the answer is no, it might be time to start getting RAD.

And yes, I said RAD — because I’m old, and I still like using that word. Just ask my friends.

In all seriousness, RAD stands for:

Reflection

Attachment

Decision

First, we need space to reflect — to think deeply and intentionally about our relationships.

Next, ask yourself: What attachments or beliefs am I holding onto that keep me from experiencing a fuller sense of joy and contentment?

The Buddha said, “The root of suffering is attachment.”

When we begin to let go of unhealthy expectations or clinging, we create space for contentment.

And from that contentment comes the courage to take decisive action — to make the choices that will improve our lives.

So this week, ask yourself:

• What is one area of my relationship that is causing me distress?

• What is one attachment I have that’s feeding that distress?

• What is one decision I can make this week to improve this relationship?

Check back next week — we’ll be diving into the topic of friendships.